Salutations, fellow denizens of the digital domain. You can call me KP, and this is my bar. If you haven't been here before, take a look around. There's really not much to see. That's because this is a blog, not the fucking Smithsonian. You want links? Apps? Games? That goddamned Foursquare QR code? Go back to iMasheep. Better yet, go fuck yourself. You notice I don't have the ubiquitous icons for Facebook and Twitter in my sidebar? There's a reason for that. And, before you say it, I'm aware of the irony of using a blog to rant about the excesses of frivolous technology. I'm just that avant garde. But you'll find more than just tirades about Tweeting here -- in fact, if you scroll down, you'll discover I think a lot of stuff is stupid. Don't agree with me? Think I'm an insensitive, arrogant, out-of-touch prick? You may be right. But I have a blog. And this is my bar.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Reminiscence

As the seasons change, I look back on what might be considered my first blog post, which ironically existed before my blog . . .

I'm KP, and these are the things I hate right now. I hate that people can't drive, regardless of the weather conditions. I hate that Christmas music is playing everywhere I go. I hate that the custom of playing Christmas music ignores the fact that most people seem to hate Christmas music. I hate Sarah Palin/Glenn Beck/Bill O'Reilly/whoever-Fox-feels-needs-a-show. I hate that every other ad on the radio or my Facebook homepage is some huckster trying to sell me false promises. I hate that every other station I turn to on the radio is playing ads, not music. And if they are, it's fucking Christmas music. I hate drama. I hate people who think "buying American" means purchasing a mediocre car, all of the parts for which were fabricated overseas, while most "Japanese" automakers produce their superior models right here in the USA. I hate that our culture has become so materialistic that it treats Black Friday as an event to be not only embraced, but hotly anticipated. I hate people who argue that the Constitutional right to free speech means the right to erect religious displays on public property, at the expense of taxpayers, no less. I hate winter. I hate when people act like winter is something I should look forward to. That's not magic tingling in your toes and noses, it's frostbite. I hate that I still feel the need to bitch about the weather, even though I have lived in Michigan for most of my life. I hate that my car's doors and windows freeze solid. I hate that I always have to worry about money, tabulating the cost of my life day after day. I hate "Dancing With the Stars," "Jersey Shore," and most every other TV program the media tells me everyone is in love with, and covers accordingly. I hate that the media covers other television shows as if they are news. I hate TV. I hate Mac almost as much as I hate the cult of Mac. I hate "Elf." Yes, I said it. Screw you too. I hate that every entity under the sun has to have a Facebook page and a Twitter account. Why the hell would I want Tweets from Ace Hardware? For that matter, why would I want Tweets at all? Go Tweet yourself. I hate pretentious assholes who make lists, as if anyone should care what they think. I hate Christmas specials. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is an allegory for fascism, and if you don't believe me, I'll e-mail you my analysis. I hate that people are too distracted and self-absorbed by all this shit and a thousand other things to actually take the time to pause and observe the world around them and what is going on it. It's not that hard. I'm KP, and these are the things I hate right now. What do you hate?

Ah, my more innocent, carefree days . . .

No comments:

Post a Comment